In this day and age, when you pass that runner or cyclist in the street you know he or she is also a driver. This would be someone like, say... me.
I am a runner, I am a cyclist, I am a driver.... I get frustrated as all three.
I want to stop my car and "school" the runners in the street running in the opposite direction as traffic. In my mind I am screaming "You are a pedestrian, if there is a sidewalk don't run in the street!" Especially when its dark and they are not wearing reflective gear or the sun is coming out and the light hits my eyes blinding me and I have to be extra aware of those two ladies who insist on running side by side taking up 1/2 of the lane. You know who you are. I can't see you. I am driving. You are on the street. Do the math.
I said it. I run and I don't like the people who presume the street is their personal treadmill. Here is the definition of jay walking: n. walking across a street outside of marked cross-walks and not at a corner, and/or against a signal light. If there is vehicle traffic or clear markings of a place to cross, this is a traffic misdemeanor subject to fine, and may be (but not conclusively) contributory negligence in the event of injury to the jay walker by a vehicle.
NOTE its actually illegal to do so. OK, OK I am being harsh, but the last thing you want is for someone to be texting and take you out because you are out enjoying your run. I applaud you for being out there day after day, you do inspire everyone, but please if you insist on being on the street wear your reflective gear. I promise the second light hits it you will light up like a Christmas Tree. Don't trust those little tiny battery powered lights. With their dim and weak wattage by the time a driver sees them it may be too late.
Having said the magic words "Street" and "Drivers", lets move on to cyclists. I love my bike, I adore riding it. I am petrified of drivers, terrified even. In this case as opposed to runners, cyclists do have a clear right to be on the road and to pass a cyclist, by law, you must give them a 3 foot berth. A bike is a vehicle with the same rights and obligations as a car. So when you see me diligently riding on the right side to give you most of the lane, know this.. I have the right to take up the whole lane but I do choose to be a courteous rider and am giving you space so don't clip me unless you want the God of Cyclists to give you a bitch slap of Karma. Just sayin'.. he loves me.
Also to my fellow cyclists, see above comment about courtesy. Again, I drive and have had some pretty numb in the skull cyclists do pretty bone headed things that could lead to them getting hit by a car.
So my friends, what is the lesson here?
If you run, and insist on running on the street know that cars are the ones with all the rights, not you so make sure you are seen plus you give the car the respect it deserves.
I must remind you: Reflective gear.
If you bike, know your rights as a vehicle but be courteous. WE ARE TRAFFIC!
Did I mention reflective gear? Oh yep I did huh? I forgot something though let me think, what was it? Ohhhh yes... REFLECTIVE GEAR!
If you drive, be aware that some people don't get it and you have the deadly vehicle. DON'T TEXT and DO NOT TALK ON YOUR PHONE either. Nothing in life can't wait until the red light or until you get to your destination. I promise.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Detox your body
You will hear the word "Detox" related to diet everywhere. Plenty of companies are selling supplements to help you detoxify your body. The reality is that you don't have to spend lots of money on any detox supplements, you just have to know what your detox goal is and know what you should or should not eat.
Why is it good to cleanse your body occasionally? Well, we consume hidden toxins in the modern day foods that we eat no matter how healthy we try to be. On occasion its just good practice to cleanse yourself of these toxins and let your body release the excess water as well.
I mentioned detox goal, sometimes all a person wants is to eliminate sugar from their diet, meat or alcohol. Or all. So what is your goal? Lets cover a full detox which will fully encompass all of the mentioned.
This guideline is for a three day. It is preferable if you do so over a weekend that you can relax, detox and center yourself. The side effects of detoxing can make you irritable so this would be the best time to do it. In preparation for the weekend, try to start cutting out caffeine, heavy proteins and fatty or heavy foods the week prior. Increase your water intake as well to help de-bloat your body.
Prepare a pitcher of water with lemon for the day, drink approximately 8 - 10 glasses of it throughout the day itself. Your body will tell you how much is the right amount of water.
For Breakfast on all three days, have an herbal tea (Yogi brand teas have a wonderful "Healthy Fasting" tea) with a fruit salad with raw almonds and flax seed oil sprinkled on top.
If you need snacks between meals have a piece of fruit (except bananas and grapes). Do not worry about the sugars in the fruit itself, enjoy with a tall glass of water with lemon.
Lunch and dinner would be a large colorful salad with lemon or a white vinegar as the dressing with a white protein (egg whites, 3 oz. grilled white fish, 3 oz. clean chicken breast), also with a tall glass of water with lemon.
Contrary to juicing detox diets you are consuming food and nutrients. The salads themselves provide the fiber needed to help clean out your system.
Every night take a nice hot (not too hot) Epsom salt bath with essential oils of your choice (lavender is a good one, do not use peppermint though, it may irritate the skin). Drink a hot cup of herbal tea and try to get as much sleep as possible throughout the three days. Rest will help the body.
As the toxins are released from your body you will experience side effects including:
-Irritability
-Possible headaches
-Smelly sweat
-Fatigue
-Skin irritations
Some people report feeling like they have the flu, this is normal. Yoga and meditation will help clear out your mind and detoxify the body.
Clear out any plans for those three days and take the days to yourself to thoroughly detoxify the mind, body and soul.
Once you resume your day to day life, try to keep a diet as clean as possible
Why is it good to cleanse your body occasionally? Well, we consume hidden toxins in the modern day foods that we eat no matter how healthy we try to be. On occasion its just good practice to cleanse yourself of these toxins and let your body release the excess water as well.
I mentioned detox goal, sometimes all a person wants is to eliminate sugar from their diet, meat or alcohol. Or all. So what is your goal? Lets cover a full detox which will fully encompass all of the mentioned.
This guideline is for a three day. It is preferable if you do so over a weekend that you can relax, detox and center yourself. The side effects of detoxing can make you irritable so this would be the best time to do it. In preparation for the weekend, try to start cutting out caffeine, heavy proteins and fatty or heavy foods the week prior. Increase your water intake as well to help de-bloat your body.
Prepare a pitcher of water with lemon for the day, drink approximately 8 - 10 glasses of it throughout the day itself. Your body will tell you how much is the right amount of water.
For Breakfast on all three days, have an herbal tea (Yogi brand teas have a wonderful "Healthy Fasting" tea) with a fruit salad with raw almonds and flax seed oil sprinkled on top.
If you need snacks between meals have a piece of fruit (except bananas and grapes). Do not worry about the sugars in the fruit itself, enjoy with a tall glass of water with lemon.
Lunch and dinner would be a large colorful salad with lemon or a white vinegar as the dressing with a white protein (egg whites, 3 oz. grilled white fish, 3 oz. clean chicken breast), also with a tall glass of water with lemon.
Contrary to juicing detox diets you are consuming food and nutrients. The salads themselves provide the fiber needed to help clean out your system.
Every night take a nice hot (not too hot) Epsom salt bath with essential oils of your choice (lavender is a good one, do not use peppermint though, it may irritate the skin). Drink a hot cup of herbal tea and try to get as much sleep as possible throughout the three days. Rest will help the body.
As the toxins are released from your body you will experience side effects including:
-Irritability
-Possible headaches
-Smelly sweat
-Fatigue
-Skin irritations
Some people report feeling like they have the flu, this is normal. Yoga and meditation will help clear out your mind and detoxify the body.
Clear out any plans for those three days and take the days to yourself to thoroughly detoxify the mind, body and soul.
Once you resume your day to day life, try to keep a diet as clean as possible
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Pain or No Pain? That is the question!
The biggest hurdle many personal trainers encounter when training clients both old and new, is trying to understand the pain that the client might have during or after exercise. Of course, everyone is different and some are much less in tune with their bodies and the pain they might encounter having better proprioception but also can differentiate what is warning pain and what is healing pain better than others.
Healing pain might sound like an oxymoron, however when it comes to working out and exercise, after a particularly intense workout you will feel muscular pain that is the result of breaking down the muscle fibers and those will now begin to rebuild stronger.
Learning to feel the difference will help you communicate to your trainer in a more efficient way and help your trainer train you correctly.
It is important also to pay close attention to what you are feeling and not to ignore the pain. The next time you are say, in an Indoor Cycling class and your legs are burning, instead of doing everything possible to ignore the pain, focus on it. FEEL it, learn exactly how it feels and what you are experiencing. As a matter of fact, when you actually turn the pain into a learning tool it becomes much easier to deal with. You learn more about your body and become in tune with it. After you have done this just breathe and focus on making the pain go away. Trust me, if you do this it becomes surprisingly easy to deal with.
Bad pain, such as shin splints or joint pain feel completely different than something like the pain you feel the day after a good workout (DOMS or Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness). Be fair to yourself and know that DOMS is necessary for your body to go through the changes it needs to.
Good DOMS? Soreness the day after that makes you feel stiff.
Bad DOMS? You can't function you worked out so hard. Even going to the bathroom brings you to near tears.
A good trainer will keep you within the good DOMS range, and again communication is key. Be fair to everyone and know when to cry out without crying wolf.
Healing pain might sound like an oxymoron, however when it comes to working out and exercise, after a particularly intense workout you will feel muscular pain that is the result of breaking down the muscle fibers and those will now begin to rebuild stronger.
Learning to feel the difference will help you communicate to your trainer in a more efficient way and help your trainer train you correctly.
It is important also to pay close attention to what you are feeling and not to ignore the pain. The next time you are say, in an Indoor Cycling class and your legs are burning, instead of doing everything possible to ignore the pain, focus on it. FEEL it, learn exactly how it feels and what you are experiencing. As a matter of fact, when you actually turn the pain into a learning tool it becomes much easier to deal with. You learn more about your body and become in tune with it. After you have done this just breathe and focus on making the pain go away. Trust me, if you do this it becomes surprisingly easy to deal with.
Bad pain, such as shin splints or joint pain feel completely different than something like the pain you feel the day after a good workout (DOMS or Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness). Be fair to yourself and know that DOMS is necessary for your body to go through the changes it needs to.
Good DOMS? Soreness the day after that makes you feel stiff.
Bad DOMS? You can't function you worked out so hard. Even going to the bathroom brings you to near tears.
A good trainer will keep you within the good DOMS range, and again communication is key. Be fair to everyone and know when to cry out without crying wolf.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Ode to Bog
Indulge me this blog and as you begin to read let us hear the "Ode to Joy" in our brains. Or Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back" really, its up to you.
The Chernobog (Chernabog, Czernobog, or Tchernobog) is a Slavic god, the "Black god" if you may. An interpretation of this god was featured in Walt Disney's 1940's movie "Fantasia". Strong, evil, and a badass dude that shook Bald Mountain from the core. Quite cool, one of the best characters in any Disney movie. I remember as a child thinking how great that part of the movie was instead of the dancing Hippos in the tutus. Seriously what WERE they smoking when they put that one together?
Now imagine this girl in desperate need of a bike. Desperately searching for the right one in Mack Cycle out of the mountain of mind numbing colorful bikes all leaning against each other. Nothing... none calls out. Sure they have the components but hey when push comes to shove there has to be that special something that just calls your name. You just know it when you see it. You just know! Like that crush I had when I was 16 on John Taylor of Duran Duran. I just knew he was the one..... OK so that time I was wrong, but you catch the drift.
Rummaging and swearing under my breath because I was going nowhere with these shiny bikes all of a sudden there he was, obscured by the other bikes with their neon voices and their shiny gears. When you find the one he need not shout his presence, he only needs to wait. His voice will be heard. I heard him calling through the others and knew he was the one. Now cue your brain a second to that angelic "AAAAAHHHHHH" and a ray of light (or disco strobe with disco ball depending on which song you chose).
I had to dig him out but once I pulled him out of the asphyxiating embrace of the other bikes he sang to me. I think the actual song was Hot Chocolate's "You sexy thing". OK, wait, no that was me singing to the bike to the chagrin of my husband and the stares of the other patrons in the store, but I digress.
He is Matte black, chrome and hungry. Hungry for the road and ready to be mine. He is lovely my Cannondale CAAD9. His voice is that of an angel (Barry White) and his gears precious release on the asphalt. The moment I saw him I knew - He is the Chernobog, my Chernabog my dark god. My Bog. He need not scream color and shine, he is just a shadow passing you as I ride by. I love my Bog, here is where the crescendo hits as I hear the "Ode to Joy" thinking of my dark god. I feel like a superhero on him riding into the sunset after battling the bad guys, he has that effect upon me.
And above you will see the completely unrealistic image I have of myself as the "Hammer" after riding the Bog.
Hey, a girl needs her dreams and on my Bog thats who I am.
Fat & Fit?
I recently saw something that said something to the effect of "If you aren't fit (if you don't hit the gym) please sit this one out".
Now, it made me think about what fit meant to people. To most of society fit means thin for the ladies, for guys means hypertrophied bodies. What is 'fit' really? Take a glance around the next time you go to work out. Are there people there every time you go that are working hard on the cardio machines or in the cycling classes that in every day clothing (or in a bathing suit) look 'unfit'? In other words, do they fit the shallow idea our society has of 'fit'?
I know a man, who has been through an amazing journey of fitness, over the years has lost over 100 pounds and can talk the talk, and is more knowledgeable than most trainers I have met. If you saw him you would never think of him as 'fit'. He can, however run circles around most of us, lift heavier weights than most men and is one of the healthiest people I know. His HDL cholesterol is beyond good, his resting heart rate is approximately 56 bpm, he runs 3 -5 miles 5 times a week. He will never look the part of athlete, but he is one - and he is fitter than most individuals who look the look of fit.
The other day, a 25 year old, size 5, 119 lb woman came to me for a body fat caliper test. Her result 26% body fat. TWENTY SIX! As per the calculations she had 28 lbs of fat. Is this by any means fit? For the average American this girl was 'hot'. No muscle definition, she smokes, she drinks, she doesn't get enough sleep. Trust me, in 10 years this will definitely show physically, mentally and take its toll on her overall health.
Just keep these things in mind when you are working out, when you don't think the weight is coming off or that you don't look like a fitness model (male or female) and therefore aren't fit.
Just answer a few questions truthfully: Do you do cardiovascular training 3 x a week or more? Is your heart rate between 75% and 87% the whole time (excluding any interval days)? Do you consciously train with weight bearing exercise 3x or more a week? This could be your own body weight or weights, circuit training or functional training included as well.
If you can say yes but you still have a body that doesn't look 'fit' just keep in mind that genetically we also have three different body types as well. Be honest with yourself as to which one you fit in.
The Ectomorph - lean, flat, delicate bone structure and has a hard time gaining muscle.
The Endomorph - Rounder, has a hard time defining muscle, can be considered 'stalky'.
The Mesomorph - Muscular, athletic build, however will gain fat easier than an Ectomorph.
Imagine an Endomorph that works on extreme cardiovascular training. We all know of an Endomorph who does this. This man was stalky all of his life, had a heart condition and had to undergo surgery. He is however a avid cyclist and owns over 40 bikes.
He is fit. He is Robin Williams. He rides his bike as much as he can and has done so with his buddy Lance Armstrong. Would you imagine Robin Williams as 'fit'? Why not? Because he doesn't look the part? Probably.
You can be fit, healthy and on your road to looking the best you can be, keep the expectations real and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. One of the best things you can do for yourself is find a fitness professional who knows what they are doing like the gentleman I mentioned above - a person who isn't 'fit' only due to age and genetics but knows what they are talking about through experience and education, it is an eye opening experience to work with someone like that who can guide you to health. Eat right, exercise and don't forget to enjoy life!
Now, it made me think about what fit meant to people. To most of society fit means thin for the ladies, for guys means hypertrophied bodies. What is 'fit' really? Take a glance around the next time you go to work out. Are there people there every time you go that are working hard on the cardio machines or in the cycling classes that in every day clothing (or in a bathing suit) look 'unfit'? In other words, do they fit the shallow idea our society has of 'fit'?
I know a man, who has been through an amazing journey of fitness, over the years has lost over 100 pounds and can talk the talk, and is more knowledgeable than most trainers I have met. If you saw him you would never think of him as 'fit'. He can, however run circles around most of us, lift heavier weights than most men and is one of the healthiest people I know. His HDL cholesterol is beyond good, his resting heart rate is approximately 56 bpm, he runs 3 -5 miles 5 times a week. He will never look the part of athlete, but he is one - and he is fitter than most individuals who look the look of fit.
The other day, a 25 year old, size 5, 119 lb woman came to me for a body fat caliper test. Her result 26% body fat. TWENTY SIX! As per the calculations she had 28 lbs of fat. Is this by any means fit? For the average American this girl was 'hot'. No muscle definition, she smokes, she drinks, she doesn't get enough sleep. Trust me, in 10 years this will definitely show physically, mentally and take its toll on her overall health.
Just keep these things in mind when you are working out, when you don't think the weight is coming off or that you don't look like a fitness model (male or female) and therefore aren't fit.
Just answer a few questions truthfully: Do you do cardiovascular training 3 x a week or more? Is your heart rate between 75% and 87% the whole time (excluding any interval days)? Do you consciously train with weight bearing exercise 3x or more a week? This could be your own body weight or weights, circuit training or functional training included as well.
If you can say yes but you still have a body that doesn't look 'fit' just keep in mind that genetically we also have three different body types as well. Be honest with yourself as to which one you fit in.
The Ectomorph - lean, flat, delicate bone structure and has a hard time gaining muscle.
The Endomorph - Rounder, has a hard time defining muscle, can be considered 'stalky'.
The Mesomorph - Muscular, athletic build, however will gain fat easier than an Ectomorph.
Imagine an Endomorph that works on extreme cardiovascular training. We all know of an Endomorph who does this. This man was stalky all of his life, had a heart condition and had to undergo surgery. He is however a avid cyclist and owns over 40 bikes.
He is fit. He is Robin Williams. He rides his bike as much as he can and has done so with his buddy Lance Armstrong. Would you imagine Robin Williams as 'fit'? Why not? Because he doesn't look the part? Probably.
You can be fit, healthy and on your road to looking the best you can be, keep the expectations real and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. One of the best things you can do for yourself is find a fitness professional who knows what they are doing like the gentleman I mentioned above - a person who isn't 'fit' only due to age and genetics but knows what they are talking about through experience and education, it is an eye opening experience to work with someone like that who can guide you to health. Eat right, exercise and don't forget to enjoy life!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Summer of the Greats
Even if you don't follow sports you can't help but to know that this is the summer of the greats. World Cup fever and Cycling fever (Tour de France, Lance is back) have set in and its impossible to ignore the amazing athletes competing in their full glory.
Why do we admire these athletes and get caught up in the excitement of these modern day Gladiators fighting in their arenas for the ultimate prize? So what is it about these amazing individuals that make them who they are? Why are they our heroes?
Call me crazy but I am going to say its their ability to say "I can". Sure talent has everything to do with it too, but its always mind over matter that gets you through the rough times, the pain, the hardship to overcome that little voice in your head that says "I can't". Of course we might give in to the "can't" but that is not a problem, just shake yourself off, smile and say the words "I am a Champ". If that sounds silly, please take a second to ponder. If you don't think you are a Champ who will?
YOU are a champ.
YOU can do it.
Give the word "NO" the finger and in the famous words of Nike "JUST DO IT".
"I can find the energy after a long day to help my child with her homework."
"I can find a smile for the stranger on the street."
"I can change my attitude and find a nice thing to say."
"I can wake up a half hour earlier and do some Yoga."
Whatever it is that holds you back just remember that its up to you to become the person you want to be. You are only a victim to your circumstances when you make yourself one. Look at Lance, he had very little hopes of surviving Cancer. "I can't" wasn't an option for him.
Why do we admire these athletes and get caught up in the excitement of these modern day Gladiators fighting in their arenas for the ultimate prize? So what is it about these amazing individuals that make them who they are? Why are they our heroes?
Call me crazy but I am going to say its their ability to say "I can". Sure talent has everything to do with it too, but its always mind over matter that gets you through the rough times, the pain, the hardship to overcome that little voice in your head that says "I can't". Of course we might give in to the "can't" but that is not a problem, just shake yourself off, smile and say the words "I am a Champ". If that sounds silly, please take a second to ponder. If you don't think you are a Champ who will?
YOU are a champ.
YOU can do it.
Give the word "NO" the finger and in the famous words of Nike "JUST DO IT".
"I can find the energy after a long day to help my child with her homework."
"I can find a smile for the stranger on the street."
"I can change my attitude and find a nice thing to say."
"I can wake up a half hour earlier and do some Yoga."
Whatever it is that holds you back just remember that its up to you to become the person you want to be. You are only a victim to your circumstances when you make yourself one. Look at Lance, he had very little hopes of surviving Cancer. "I can't" wasn't an option for him.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Recognizing Signs of Suicide
If you were to check dictionary.com and look up the definition of "health" you will find the first definition as this one:
1. The general condition of the body or mind with reference to soundness and vigor.
Usually the first thing that comes to mind when we think of heath is a fit body. We are conditioned as a society to see images of athletes as the epitome of health, and when it comes to the physical aspect of it they are. What we tend to ignore at times is mental heath, the emotional health necessary to function in this highly stressed out world. As a society we also sometimes see depression or the inability to deal with unbearable amounts of stress as a weakness, this isn't so.
Our brains are a complex network of neurons and chemicals that regulate our whole bodies, but also our moods. Sometimes there may be chemical imbalances that lead to depression and/or bi-polar tendencies. Other times life just gets so hard that the average person just has a very hard time dealing with the load they feel is crushing them - this is no less serious than an actual chemical imbalance and clinical depression.
Either way, life can seem bleak and impossible to the individual who is going through either extreme stress or biological depression. It is important to recognize the signs that your loved one may need help. Here are a few:
Often when we face this we don't think the person we love would be capable of taking their own life, however we need to understand that this dark mental place is very unique and we must understand that it is a serious situation. In no way should a person blame themselves if this happens, but you can also never be too careful when it comes to leading a loved one to help.
Also know that to the suicidal individual this is the only way out. Many feel anger at the selfishness of the person who ends their own life, but in their darkness they see their passing often as a good thing, in their mind it will be better for their loved ones if they are gone. Being aware that this is the way a depressed and suicidal individual sees their warped reality gives us the understanding that they are capable of ending it all.
Suicide hotlines not only offer support for the suicidal individual but also can provide a concerned friend or family member with the correct tools and point to the right direction to find help.
Here are a few numbers to call:
1-800-Suicide
1-800-273-8255
If you are feeling suicidal you can call 911 and tell them so. They will send help.
Websites:
www.hopeline.com
www.dbsalliance.org
www.contactwecare.org
www.thetrevorproject.org (helping the LBGTQ youth if you are Lesbian, Bi, Gay, Transgender or Questioning or know someone who is and is suicidal or in crisis, this is their focus)
Never hesitate to help, even if you think someone is 'crying wolf'. Even if this is the case they are crying for help, and never ever feel it is your fault if it is too late.
1. The general condition of the body or mind with reference to soundness and vigor.
Usually the first thing that comes to mind when we think of heath is a fit body. We are conditioned as a society to see images of athletes as the epitome of health, and when it comes to the physical aspect of it they are. What we tend to ignore at times is mental heath, the emotional health necessary to function in this highly stressed out world. As a society we also sometimes see depression or the inability to deal with unbearable amounts of stress as a weakness, this isn't so.
Our brains are a complex network of neurons and chemicals that regulate our whole bodies, but also our moods. Sometimes there may be chemical imbalances that lead to depression and/or bi-polar tendencies. Other times life just gets so hard that the average person just has a very hard time dealing with the load they feel is crushing them - this is no less serious than an actual chemical imbalance and clinical depression.
Either way, life can seem bleak and impossible to the individual who is going through either extreme stress or biological depression. It is important to recognize the signs that your loved one may need help. Here are a few:
- Depression.
- Change in habits.
- Irritability: The person may seem excessively irritable and unable to focus.
- Anger: Excessive anger or outbursts.
- Low Self Esteem.
- Withdrawing from loved ones, friends and family.
- Feeling like nothing will change and they are trapped and helpless.
- Lack of interest in usual activities or hobbies.
- Lack of sexual interest.
- Drug or Alcohol Abuse.
- Talking about death or dying. Expressing an interest to end their life.
- Giving away prized possessions.
- Recent loss: of loved one through death, divorce, breakup, a job or other important thing in their life.
Often when we face this we don't think the person we love would be capable of taking their own life, however we need to understand that this dark mental place is very unique and we must understand that it is a serious situation. In no way should a person blame themselves if this happens, but you can also never be too careful when it comes to leading a loved one to help.
Also know that to the suicidal individual this is the only way out. Many feel anger at the selfishness of the person who ends their own life, but in their darkness they see their passing often as a good thing, in their mind it will be better for their loved ones if they are gone. Being aware that this is the way a depressed and suicidal individual sees their warped reality gives us the understanding that they are capable of ending it all.
Suicide hotlines not only offer support for the suicidal individual but also can provide a concerned friend or family member with the correct tools and point to the right direction to find help.
Here are a few numbers to call:
1-800-Suicide
1-800-273-8255
If you are feeling suicidal you can call 911 and tell them so. They will send help.
Websites:
www.hopeline.com
www.dbsalliance.org
www.contactwecare.org
www.thetrevorproject.org (helping the LBGTQ youth if you are Lesbian, Bi, Gay, Transgender or Questioning or know someone who is and is suicidal or in crisis, this is their focus)
Never hesitate to help, even if you think someone is 'crying wolf'. Even if this is the case they are crying for help, and never ever feel it is your fault if it is too late.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Mind, Body and the Marathon
Aching finger joints, an incredibly sore throat, heavy head and pain in the palms of my hands. Discomfort and extreme pain, I do nothing to stop this, I actually do more and more to make it worse. This is pain ''on purpose''.
Who would purposefully do this? Why would anyone seek this pain in any way?
Who? Why, every single one of us who have spent no less than an hour at the side of the road as the Miami Marathon 2010 runners run by. Each one of us standing to the side there because we have a hero, a runner putting themselves through something so intense yet so satisfying. Not only do we cheer on the person we came to see, but each and every one of those runners end up being 'our' runner.
The pain, satisfaction, intensity, focus and suffering etched on the faces of the thousands of runners who pass by make this an experience not only for them but for us. I can't compare in any way the minimal discomfort that I am feeling by slapping my hands together and screaming words of encouragement for hours - some runners not even noticing but for those who look up in pain and nod, or say 'Thank you' it makes every second worth it. I know, I have raced, I know the shot of adrenalin that you get from a friendly word and smile and it means so much. Its what gets you through those last few yards, feet and steps as your body screams and begs for you to stop, the words "YOU GO GIRL! YOU CAN DO IT!" acting like a super drug that lets you finish strong.
Unfortunately due to knee problems I will not know what it is like to run a Marathon, and that is just fine. Being the #1 Support Team for my Marathon runner is a source of pride, always making sure he has everything he needs nutritionally for weeks, getting the gear and pre and post race supplements and items, driving him home after he showed me the strength of his mind and body.
Any race is a mind game, the number one obstacle in our way either leading us to failure or to depths of will power no one knew they had. The difference between that woman dragging herself to the finish line, someone who weighs no less than 185 lbs and is no taller than I (5'3") and someone who says they can't do it is just the brain. SHE is my hero, she has conquered the biggest obstacle she can, the part of her brain that tells her not to do it, to quit, to stop because she is tired. I was amazed at the difference in the physical landscape that were the runners. For the most part most were doing the half Marathon (trust me 13.1 is half of nothing - its FAR) they came in all shapes and sizes, all ages from young teens to adults that were no younger than 75. Some walked it in, some jogged it in, and for those who were finishing the full, some almost crawled it in.
No matter what, each person who passed the finish line gave themselves a gift that many of us don't give ourselves. That would be the words "I can!"
Tears well up as I scream and clap for the runners, those super heroes each and every one. The pride I feel is not only for my runner bur I feel as much pride for each and every single one of them. I told my Superman that next year, even if I walk it I will give myself the gift of "I can" and get my knees through that 1/2 Marathon, even if I do it in the same time as he does his full.
For now, I nurse my aching hands and throat, happy that I got that smile, that nod, and even a high five from the heroes I cheered on! Thank YOU for showing me the power of "I can". Through you we all learn a lesson.
Next year "We can". Who is with me?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
My best friend and the love he gave me
So far this blog is mostly about health and fitness, but one of the most important things we can do for ourselves doesn't involve working out. Its about surrounding ourselves with the love of others, whether it is people or the love of a furry creature that will give you the unconditional love that only a pet can.
We have had many dogs, all so incredible in their own ways, always giving all of themselves and greatly missed when they left us. In each and every set of eyes there is a soul behind them that no human can match in purity of heart and eternal devotion.
Maximus Rex or Max was one of my companions, I found him after I had been mourning the loss of my gentle giant Apollo for five months, his loss so hard I didn't know if I could do it again. I didn't want to hold another one in my arms and say goodbye. My heart, and the heart of everyone in the family just shattered when we lost Apollo, none of us were really ready to do it again.
I couldn't help but keep on checking our local Boxer rescue and checking the pictures of the Boxers that were in need of homes, always wondering if one was for me. One day a new dog came in and a picture was posted, and I saw his eyes. His skinny bony body called to me but more than that he was looking into the camera and I knew. His look, that look was just saying "Here I am, I am yours". Only days later we were picking up this poor abused and abandoned sack of bones from his foster home.
That day was September 09, 2001. At that moment none of us had any clue of the events to come, little did we know that his sweetness and incredible sense of knowing just when we needed a body to hug would help us all through the next few months.
Max was taller than most Boxers, his chest much more narrow, a trait that implied that he must have had some Shepherd or Hound in him, his body was elegant and lean. Most Boxers have that typical color, Fawn which he did, his face had a simple black mask, uncropped ears. By no means was this dog remarkable in looks, most people would probably consider him not desirable, he wasn't flashy which is what everyone wants. I didn't want flashy, I wanted him. Max the AMAZING VIBRATING DOG! A little nubbin for a tail this huge dog had, so when he would wag his whole body would vibrate uncontrollably. Always happy, always vibrating.
His looks aside, he more than made up for it in personality. His personality and humor was bigger than any dog I have ever met in my life, he was almost human. Countless times we would be sitting at our computer together, my husband and I and this 90 plus pound monster would put his paws on me and start crawling across our laps until he managed to be sprawled across the laps of two adults crushing our legs and cutting off circulation. One look of happiness as if saying "See? I am here, its good." And we would suffer through our circulation loss gladly as if it were nothing.
Eventually we realized this dog was not a common pup.. by any means. His lanky huge frame implied scary dog, yet at one point his true personality began to emerge. I firmly believe Liberace was reincarnated in Max. Ok maybe not Liberace himself, but who knew a dog could love the bling as much as Liberace himself? I kid not! It started with his nails, Max lived in a household with three females so of course girlie activities like manis and pedis are a common occurrence.
One one of our mani days, we kept on looking at a color talking about how pretty it was, and after a few minutes of girlie "OOOHHH HOW PRETTY" exclamations we noticed we was vibrating in front of us.. vibrating, begging. We looked at each other and my daughter says "Max do you want to be pretty?" He jumped up and vibrated harder, so we pulled out the "Chrome" silver figuring it was a tad more appropriate than pink. I asked for his paw, and that dog actually stayed still as we proceeded to paint both front paws exclaiming how pretty he looked. Once done, he kept on hopping around as if he was just the dandiest dog around. That started a love affair for anything we called pretty. If it was pretty he needed it.
Just like the time we were clearing out the accessory box. Ever attentive, the first time the words "Keep that, its pretty" were said his head popped up and he vibrated. Max was given a string of faux pearls that from that moment on were his, he wouldn't let you take them off. So now I have a large scary-looking male Boxer running around the house with silver claws and pearls. What will my neighbors think? Of course we really didn't care what anyone thought because we knew that he was a superstar in our small neighborhood. Always a friendly to anyone who he encountered, everyone loved him.
He never lost his playfulness, he was always teasing the cat we adopted a couple of years after him, ironically our cat would seem irritated but they would curl up together to sleep, which the cat would never dream of doing with Roxie the second dog we rescued after Max. To this day they politely ignore each other and catch a nip or a scratch when they can. Max however, dominated gently, loving them and being an unobtrusive yet firm Alpha to his little pack.
All animals are sensitive to our feelings, I grew up with plenty to know that, however his bond with me was unique and to this day beyond anything I had ever had with any other animal. Throughout the years, life became difficult as life will, and his never ending love and gentle heart would help me through the toughest of times, and those were plenty over the small span of a few years.
Inconsolable, I came back from Chicago where we all had gathered, my father had died. We - all of his many children and their families spent four painful, heart wrenching days in the hospital until he took his last breath. Having been close to him, I had been his 'little girl' and the guilt of having moved away a few years before weighed especially hard on me, I sank into a deep depression. I didn't want anyone to console me, not my husband, especially not my kids, I didn't want them to see me cry, the only one to get through to me and pull me out was Max. My dear boy, no questions asked, he would sit by me and whenever I needed it he would let me bury my face in his neck and sob uncontrollably until I had nothing left. He would stay, he would look at me and he knew. He saved me from my grief as only an angel can.
We didn't know his birthday, all we know is that he was around 1 1/2 when he was adopted. So around the time he became 6 he was diagnosed with Lymphoma. Boxers are cancer factories but until now none of my many had ever had it. I was devastated, my boy, my friend. Luckily after a run in with one vet who would have put him down on the spot, we brought him to the most amazing place and for a year he went through Chemo. If you didn't know he was sick you couldn't tell. He was as big, happy and bouncy for that year. I sat with him that Christmas happy that I had him around still. The best gift yet.
Late May the next year his glands began to swell, I took him in to his bi-weekly checkup the bad news hit. There was no more Chemo to be done, we had been blessed to have him a year longer than we had thought. Our Vet, a gentle wonderful, loving person told me to take him home and enjoy him until it was time. Time? I asked her how I would know when the time was? She told me that I would just know. Progressively my dear heart went downhill, I would carry him out to relieve himself, he had begun to lose weight so it wasn't that hard, I would feed him through a Turkey baster because he preferred liquid at that point, his throat was swollen. I called the Vet, asked her if it was time. She would always ask me "Is it?" I would look into his eyes, it wasn't.
Until the Sunday morning where it was time. I looked into his eyes and they told me he needed peace. She had left word to call her if she wasn't on duty and she would come in. Everyone in the office had grown to love him that much. I was left alone with my baby and held him in my arms as he passed, my hubby stayed outside, he knew that this moment was between us.
The lessons of love we learn from our pets are all unique, at the moment we still have our baby girl Roxie who is my sweet companion, and our cat "KatKat", yet not a single day passes where I miss my boy, my best friend, the doggie love of my life. I still can see his eyes and his soul right through them. Did I ever deserve him? Nope, and I don't deserve any of the love of these animals, no human does, we just aren't worthy. Yet they still are there, and they give us the wonderful mental well-being that only that kind of devotion and love can give. Of course, there are plenty of statistics I can throw around about how having a pet lowers blood pressure and reduces stress, but you just need to hang out around one to know. They are better than any human friend when it comes to listening, what more can you ask?
There are so many books out that are about pets, the ones with titles " .. and me". Everyone who has known the love of an animal has his or her ".. and me" story. This is mine.
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